Fewer Riders, More Cops? What happened?
Brian McGloin
Critical Mass NYC 28 April 2006
Union Square North
This month’s ride, for me, proved to be the best yet for a few reasons. I’m writing this two days later sitting in the Circle Diner in Fairfield – my plate of eggs benedict with lox arrived just in time to start my brain moving here. Leaning over my plate and typing isn’t easy especially given how neurotic I am about table manners. Don’t tell Martha.
Back to the Critical Mass. I had a good day in general in New York, which started out well at the train station in Fairfield. A random man walked up to me as I was eating a sandwich to inquire about my bike. He hailed from the Garden State and moved to the Nutmeg State recently and needed a bike. I happened to have a business car for Spoke & Wheel on East Main Street in Bridgeport in my pocket so I gave it to him. We talked about bikes and NYC and CT a little. I suggested Spike & Wheel or maybe Breaking Away Cycles in Fairfield in addition to Craig’s List or eBay or even pawn shops. Times are tight and people are selling everything. The daughters are for rent and the sons are sold into child labor camps. The pets are for dinner. He said he needed a 64 cm frame (which is huge) which limited his choices. 
After he walked off, the smartly-dressed woman sitting next to me holding some sort of display board asked “is there a bike shop in Bridgeport?”. I told her there was and where it was and what the place was like. I apologized for giving my one and only card for Spoke and Wheel to the Garden State Man moments earlier.
The train arrived. The conversation departed. She got off at 125th in Harlem.
The train clunked and creaked its way to Grand Central Terminal at around 2. I was on my way up 8th Avenue to Central Park in short order. After the dreary hour-long train ride, I look forward to riding the Loop around the Park. There are always a few track bikes and ultra-slick road bikes as well as the typical assembly of NYC junk heap bikes and everything in between. I saw someone from the DVD “Red Light Go” ( I think ). Well, at least it was one of the custom red Cannondale track bikes given away at the Bike Messenger World Championships – or something like that. They’re sweet bikes – light, fast and brutally stiff like a dead, anorexic hooker.
For as much noise and chaos as NYC has, I’m always astonished at the natural beauty and serenity of Central Park. I washed down an over-priced Gatorade as a man in-line skating while balancing 3 water bottles on his head rolled gleefully around in triumphant circles to music only he could hear. A scantly-clad woman accompanied him figure skating in her own unique way rolling in circles, backwards and other figure skating ways.
Wait, I heard it, too. The Saxophone Man who bellows rolling dirges with anonymous grace filled the voids between conversations, laughing children and bird calls. Behind me was a different story.
A trio bounced and swerved their own groves in a less dirgy and much more ragtime – but in a swing trio sort of way – celebrated the warm spring day. After plunking some change in their box I took a few photos, stalled to listen some more then headed across the road to where the fountain is. It was the usual sort of nice-day-in-the-park sort of thing one would expect. German students goofing around, people reading. I sat in the shade for a while then continued around the park on the Loop.
I changed office locations from Circle Diner to one of the tables beach side at Penfield Beach in Fairfield. The weather couldn’t be more perfect. A gentle sea breeze is blowing in cool and light over the Long Island Sound. The waves gently crash as seagulls search in the skies for lunch on the beach below. A child speaks. A seagull crows. A barefoot woman in a light dress walked by, her heels thumping on the wood flooring.
Alright. I’ve gone way off track. Critical Mass.
The group gathered in Union Square North as normal with what seemed 500 people from all over NYC and other places – I’m in Connecticut, for example. One guy proudly rode his penny farthing (there was another guy on one in San Francisco or maybe Chicago) while another was reclined in his recumbent. I saw a red tall bike that was sort of a side by side tandem. It was two tall bikes connected to each other with the steering parts connected with joints to keep the steering in synch. The bike had 4 wheels on the ground and two sets of drive train. Another crazy bastard had what looked to be a tandem but with an upright riding position. The chain was about 12 km long and ground on bare steel. I can’t imagine how much the bike weighs or worse, how it rode. 
Regardless, it had style and that’s all that matters at the end of the day.
The the usual 7:30 ish the ride got underway heading downtown. Missing, like last month, was the omnipresent hovering NYPD helicopter. This time, I stayed back a little and rode with a Nikon F4s around my neck. The cross strap from my bike messenger bag kept the camera’s movements to a minimum as I rode while not encumbering my access to the camera. Past rides, I strapped a small Sony digital point & shoot camera to my handlebars to get motion shots. Well, I skipped that this time in favor of my Nikon experiment. I’ve had the F4s in past rides but I tucked it away while riding, only shooting the before-ride gathering. I was glad I kept it handy this time. It allowed me to get photos of not only the riders next to me but also the NYPD in their silly antics.
And were they silly!
The NYPD and their Queer Scooter Brigade never cease to entertain us at a horrendous expense to the taxpayers and their own pride. It started with some of the idiots in an unmarked Jeep Liberty with a red flashing light. The front, darkly-tinted windows were rolled down and a small consumer video camera poked out – two plain clothed cops were in the car.I guess they were either taping us or pretending to in some sort of bogus intimidation campaign. No worries, a Mass rider taped the cops taping us while I took still photos.
We have it covered.
The Jeep circled Union Square heading in the direction of the Critical Mass, blocking traffic and being a general menace to pedestrians and every one else on the road. The Ride continued downtown with few problems. We talked, people cheered, pedestrians asked what was going on. At one red light (I stopped for all of them during the ride, but neitherbefore nor after) one woman asked me what was going on (I excitedly told her) and another asked where my helmet was. I pointed out that my bike also doesn’t have brakes and that I should not only wear a helmet but call my mom more often and pay my bills on time. 
The light turned green and we went.
The Ride was cool and calm with the element of protest diluted by the comradery of this huge peaceful group carving our bit of serenity out of the inhuman maze of quickly-rolling steel and bike-sized holes in the street. This is what Critical Mass is supposed to be – not out running police trucks as they drive on the sidewalks and over bike paths.
As relaxed and law-abiding as the ride was, there were no shortage of NYPD’s Queer Scooter Brigade. I’ve never seen so many scooters in one place – not even Block Island. Nowhere. In one intersection, after the riders stopped for a red light, the Scooter Brigade barreled through followed by two police cars that BLOCKED the intersection to everyone – bikes, pedestrians, cars, Chinese food delivery guys. Everyone. After a moment, another barrage of the Brigade rammed through then the intersection cleared. I guess causing gridlock by congesting intersections helps … uh … keep traffic moving.
After waiting for the green light we went.
The Ride went down one street and across an avenue. Honestly, I’m watching the bikes in front of me and next to me and the cops and not so much the street signs. Often I know where I am but sometimes I don’t which doesn’t matter so much. the group I was in approached a red light, I heard a drawn out car horn. A closer look showed a Masser stopped at a green light blocking a blue Toyota Prius from going. I’m not sure if he was a cop trying to pepper the Ride into running red lights and corking along with other offenses that, only during a Critical Mass, are not just minor ticketable offenses but get overnight jail time – this ONLY applies to Critical Mass riders. Everyone else continue to move through the City at your own pace as you see fit.
After the group stopped, as if on cue, the morons in the Black Jeep Liberty (different from the earlier one at Union Square) jumped out and declared the rider to be under arrest. No badges, uniforms, identification or anything. The arrested rider wasn’t detained and actually he was talking calmly to the cops. As the driver of the SUV got out of the truck, he left the driver’s side door open and no one was allowed to touch it. This blocked the Prius in place as the light cycled green, yellow, red again. Horns blared and the woman was furious. Some asshole in the back seat of the truck tried to get out on the traffic side with his car door ramming against the Prius. He told the now very furious woman that her car was fine. I think one of the cops was the pussy who pulled the girl to the ground by lock chain around her waist. Smolka, I think. This was yet another occasion where the NYPD not only blocked the very traffic they claim to keep moving, but endangered the people around them and damaged personal property of innocent bystanders. Maybe if the woman had a Hummer or something other than a hybrid, they wold have let her go.
The light turned green and the group moved on with the Prius matter still unresolved. We were on Christopher street when I realized there wasn’t a “we”, only an “I”. I stopped to look around and after a few minutes I rode back in the general direction of Washington Square thinking people would be there eventually. Luck was on my side as I caught a group riding just to the north of Washington Square heading away from the park. I think I might be mixing up parts of the ride but who cares. If one looks at the Big Picture, its completely accurate.
The large group split into smaller groups criss-crossing all over Manhattan. Each had their own Queer Scooter Brigade and unmarked surveillance SUV or two. I’m sure many of these groups had their own fake Critical Mass riders and other under cover cops – which of course the NYPD denies. One group crossed our group at an intersection where we were stopped at a red light. I think this is where I heard a commanding voice call out “Let’s cork so we can make the left … “. I never heard anyone announce any intention to cork (blocking traffic in intersections to let the riders through, sort of what the cops do for themselves during Critical Mass) or run red lights or anything else like that. It seemed like another fake Masser. We waited the extra few seconds for the green and found the group who passed us.
Somehow I got separated again from the group and after riding around looking for cops or other riders, I ended up on 5th avenue. I figured I would give Washington Square a shot again. As I got closer and closer, the police presence increased dramatically with the NYPD completely blocking 5th avenue en route downtown. Vehicular traffic was gridlocked and jammed but I rode around it. I rode past a few cops and stopped at the red light.
Track stand, green light, into the Park. Again.
This is where the ride got a little strange but first a little loud. It seemed like the entire Critical Mass group. Someone had a canvas bad similar to an Israeli Paratrooper bag with a boom box stashed inside. Holed were neatly cut and hemmed in the bag for the speakers. Crackling and blaring music filled the park echoing all around as more and more riders gathered. Each wave or riders down 5th Avenue drew increasing applause from the enlarging mass of riders. The penny farthing man was a crowd and tourist favorite with deafening applause and a zillion photos shot – especially during his no-handed trackstand at the red light, while smiling. The red dual tall bike, a tandem … more bikes. More and more … each one bring more cheers. The NYPD had the Queer Scooter Brigade parked along Washington Square North on one side of the street and a paddy wagon on the other side. An unmarked silver Jeep Liberty was illegally parked on the corner by 5th as another surveillance car. The way the cops were parked there, I was expecting drag queens to jump out of the paddy wagon like something in a John Waters movie. Because, everyone knows its not a party until the drag queens show up. And its not a riot until the police start it … oops, I mean until the Police restore order.
After some more time passed the group walked through Washington Square through the southern egress downtown. We walked down the sidewalk as the cops blocked the streets and zoomed back and forth. Yes, we walked. Down the sidewalk – all 200 or so of us. It took maybe 3 blocks to hold everyone. We were somewhere downtown when we rode on downtown toward the Manhattan Bridge. There was a benefit party in Brooklyn just over the bridge.
I think we were on the Bowery or near it in China Town at the base of the bridge when the ride stopped again. The police swarmed around, blocking not only the bridge but the intersections. Some fat, higher-ranking cops stood in the street and were almost run over by a truck. Cops drove without lights or sirens into on-coming traffic as if to show that they’re allowed to be dangerous, irresponsible and a menace. A large number of the Queer Scooter Brigade parked by the bridge, another brigade parked around the corner. The surveillance SUVs that the NYPD doesn’t have were parked hither and yon.
This was it. This is where it ended at about 10:00 – ish. At first I wasn’t sure where I was and after asking I saw a sign for the Bowery, I knew where I was, roughly. or at least how to get back. For some reason I asked again how to get back to Grand Central which of course turned into a small conversation. Tammy and I rode back uptown on the Bowery until 43st where she went to the west side and I went to Grand Central – almost getting myself hit by a taxi in the process.
In the station, I had time to use the loo and get a snack. I boarded literally 1 minute before it departed for New Haven. I got off in Fairfield as always, rode home and walked in my door at 11:59.
What a great day. I can’t wait until next time – the Arsenal of Democracy alleycat is the day after the next Critical Mass. Two illegal rides in a row in two different states.
Alright.
Still We Ride
Well … things only half went according to plan. I rode in the Critical Mass but not the April Fools alleycat in New Haven. And I never got to lead the B&W film so I used Fuji Press 400 which worked very well.
Before the CM, I rode around NYC taking a few loops around Central Park. I stopped at The Mall and whatever the area across the road is called – where the fountain is. I rode around Manhattan with no rhyme or reason … keeping track of where I was but not really going anywhere.
I got to Union Square with a little more than an hour to kill so I headed down to Washington Square. There, I saw some people from the bike messenger movie, Red Light Go (and elsewhere) and also some really fantastic drumming – not the usual tourist-trap street performers.
There were three of them – or maybe two and a straggler, I’m not sure. The main drummers switched back and forth bewteen two similar but different drum kits. The odd guy played rhythmicly on what looked to be the large plastic container for wheeling the proper drums into the park and also a tamborine. Who cares – it sounded great. 
As darkness stained the ground in the shades of artificial day, it was time to roll north back to Union Square where some 300 + cyclists had gathered for the March Critical Mass.
At about 7:30 or so the Ride slowly but enthusiasticly started out heading uptown on Broadway. We were in a tight group and moving along at a very easy pace with festive shouts of “More bikes, Less Cars!” ( holding bavk the urge to say “fewer” and not “less”). At some point, a cyclist got in front of a delivery van blocking the van’s way. I was watching the other cyclists and traffic lights and everything else so I didn’t see everything that happened with the van and cyclist at first.
After a moment and a one-van symphony of horn honking, the van driver was getting antsy and agressive – he was riding the rear wheel of the bike, accelerating and decelerating violently while beeping. I heard a metallic clunk and fearing the worst, I looked over toward the van.
It was just a manhole cover making the noise but then I saw the cyclist was joined by another biker and another until there were three or four in front of the van.
That crisis calmed down.
The ride took a left turn shortly after. I think it was a left.
I admit to getting the avenues and streets mixed up in NYC. I think we were on 6th Avenue (I think) when we passed w41st street … at about halfway past the street, we turned the wrong way on 6th Avenue (I think) and headed toward w41st street.
That’s where the NYPD rolled in on scooters in their usual pattern of 2-4 scooters riding into the group of cyclists. I’m not sure if the group turned because of the cops or if the cops attacked because the group turned.
Later, the NYPD CLOSED 5th Avenue near Washington Square (yes, closed … at about 8:30 or 9 on a warm Friday night)
As the scooter cops closed in, I saw one within arm’s reach. He shouted “get off the bike!” and at that cue, I took off into the middle of the pack on w41st. I was stuck behind some guy on a mobile phone – I don’t know if he was calling other massers or his mom, either way … he was in no hurry. As I rounded the corner onto Broadway I rode on with others but I decided to get over to the sidewalk for a bit. Honestly, I saw no glory in being arrested and I figured thre NYPD would have serious road blocks.
This gave me a chance to take a look around. I walked my bike along the sidewalk back to w41st. I saw 4 cops yelling at one cyclist demanding ID while more cops on scooters had part of the avenue blocked.
Moments later, 2 NYPD vans and one black, unmarked car roared violently down w41st toward Broadway at an astonishing speed.
I guess driving in such a reckless and dangerous manner is for public saftey? I think these idiots were heading toward the standoff at Washington Square.
During the pre-ride gathering it was established to meet at Washington Square at some point – around 8:30 or 9 – to continue if the ride was fractured, which it was. If I knew about the secondary meeting point, I would have gone there. Instead, after a few minutes of looking around and taking notes, I got back on my bike. There where no cops around at this point – they were probably all downtown.
I did see one cop in a marked car … a Jaguar or Saab ( I only remember it was a Euro import) sped through the red light with no head lights on while two food delivery guys on bikes rode against the flow of traffic all went right by the cop without anything. That seemed fair.
So after this, I cruised around a little and headed to Grand Central Terminal to take the train back to Fairfield.
Critical Mass isn’t about protest or pissing everyone off. Its not the cyclists’ fault that bikes and those who ride them are seen as children and/or a petty nuisance. Crical Mass is a celebration of bikes and bike culture; its a celebration of non-polluting, healthy transportation. Its about taking the streets back and getting some laws both enforced and created in our favor.
Its NYPD that makes it into a dangerous an obscene waste of tax dollars.
